i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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