Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
