I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
