i think my mom watched the whole time
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
