remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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