After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
