I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
