she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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