Three words: puerto rican gang bang
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
