i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
