How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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