Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
