She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
