he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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