so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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