If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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