sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
