im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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