If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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