He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize