Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It's shark week go big or go home
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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