the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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