i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
