It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
