remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize