babies were throwing up all over the place
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
