i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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