areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
