you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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