let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
