TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Say something about gay babies.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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