I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
