12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
there is puke in my bra ... again
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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