It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
