Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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