Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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