so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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