Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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