She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
