My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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