Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
