if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
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