I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
