You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize
