three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
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