I'm really into asian looking animals
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
