So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
i've created a new STD.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
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