I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
