Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
