i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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