i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
