the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
