No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
