The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
