put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
