Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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